Got Dang Ponies

My niece Maya spent the night with me Friday. She’s five.

Did you know that you can watch 97 hours of My Little Pony in just 24 hours? Because you can. I tried to persuade her that there were, in fact, other shows. Better shows. Movies. A new Barbie movie on Amazon Prime. We could watch Frozen…?



Okay, cool. That’s fine.

I was able to distract her with sticks of chalk out in the parking lot for a little while. Hey, don’t judge me. I don’t have kids. You work with what you’ve got. That worked for a while, but she went through half a box of chalk and covered my entire porch and two parking blocks, and we were back to ponies.

We even did a photo shoot…


This one was her favorite. Well, to be fair, it was one of like four that she actually looked at, because she needed to get back to the ponies. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Applejack needed her attention. Which they got. For 97 hours.

In an attempt to redirect her focus, I asked how she liked school (she’s in kindergarten). “Fine.” Ponies. Do you have friends there? “Yes.” Ponies. Do you have a boyfriend? “No.” Ponies. Are there any cute boys that you like? (I start to ask myself if I should be encouraging her to like boys…prolly not).

“The only boys I like are in my family.”

Smart girl.

As the evening wears on and I contemplate the chin stubble on the construction site ponies….No, Maya. You’ve eaten almost an entire box of Hot Tamales in the last 24 hours. I feel like we should chill out on the Hot Tamales.

Just as we approached the 98th hour of My Little Pony, my sister shows up and lets me off the hook. Maya has behaved like a perfect child. Sweet, polite, quiet. Really likes ponies. Yes, I’ve helped her gather all her things (which is why my living room no longer looks like it puked rainbows and Pepto Bismol).

Go out to the car & kiss the boys (her brothers). Say goodnight, and go back in to turn off the got dang ponies and return to the Blue Bloods episode I was watching before she arrived 97 pony hours earlier….


Got dang ponies.

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